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YOUR RELATIONSHIP LIFE PLAN
Excerpted from ENTREPRENEURIAL COUPLES: Making It Work at Work and at Home.
Answer the following questions as honestly as you can. There are no right or wrong answers. The purpose of this exercise is to help you identify your values and goals for a primary relationship so that you can build one that reflects them.
- How did you and your partner meet? What attracted you to him or her?
- Why did your partner choose you?
- What did you learn about marriage from your parents?
- What did your spouse learn about marriage from his or her parents?
- If you could do it all over again, would you choose this same partner? List your reasons.
- What would you change in your partner to make the relationship better?
- What do you need to change in yourself that would improve the relationship?
- What are your partner’s most deeply held beliefs? His or her most prized accomplishments? His or her most cherished dreams?
- The people whom you dated before getting involved with your current partner - what were they like? Why did these relationships not work out?
- The people whom your partner dated before getting involved with you- what were they like? Why did these relationships not work out?
- What is your favorite recreational activity? Your partner’s?
- Name three important lessons you have learned from your partner.
- Describe how you feel about sex with your partner.
- Describe the ideal marriage. Describe your ideal mate.
- Describe one important way you have disappointed your partner and one way she or he has disappointed you.
- How do your children or other significant family members view your marriage?
Evaluating Your Responses
You have come a long way if you have done these exercises honestly. You may have had some sleepless nights and long talks with your partner. Ideally, your partner is working on these exercises too. The goal is to build and/or re-write a life plan that encompasses the individual life plan for each of you, as well as a relationship plan that you create together.
As with the exercises on your personal life plan, sift through the information you have gathered here. Look for patterns, themes and foolish consistency. Begin to ask why and why not. Explore new forms of commitment with your partner. If there are areas in your relationship, such as intimacy and sex, that are no longer working begin problem solving with your partner.
Summarizing Remark
Write one sentence or a brief paragraph summarizing what you learned from this exercise and what you want to change.
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